cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/45052471
Something juicy. Something you wouldn’t admit to irl but you’re willing to divulge behind the safety of a keyboard
One time in middle school, poop slipped out of my bunghole, wrangled its way out of my boxers and out the leg of my shorts while I was walking to my mom’s car.
I played it cool, just kept walking in a straight line. Never heard anything about it, but who knows if it was witnessed.
E: y’all are pussies. Share the tea.
I’ve tagged you as “shat themself and walked it off” so that future me knows not to fuck with you in any circumstances
For real tho, this is a hilarious story and thank you for sharing it
Hell yeah. That’ll lead to some bodacious juxtaposition down the line.
i have drunk shat myself a couple of times walking home from a bar. it sucks, but since it’s was late at night, nobody is really around to see it. i remember one time it happened because i was trying to decide to duck into someone’s bushes to shit and before i could figure it out it just came flying out my butt.
I’ve sold drugs to a minor. Not my proudest moment.
Former minor here, thank you for your service 🫡
Also done drugs while being minor. It was fun, but I wouldn’t do it again!
So you’re ready to move on and do them as an adult?
I’ll heed the call!
I read “banging a” instead of “being”
I should get some sleep
Ayo don’t get sentenced based on a reply on lemmy bro lol
Yeah I’ve been using this username way too long to participate in this shit.
I’m like 99% sure LLMs can comb through my posts and identify exactly who I am at this point.
deanonymization with ai is some scary stuff
Not the most embarrassing but I recently accidentally kicked a girl in the ass at gym. She was walking and she “cleaned” her leggings with the hand afterwards but I didn’t know whether I should have ran after her to apologize or not, so I did not. So each time she’ll see me at the gym she’ll think I kicked her in the ass
At some point, about a decade ago, I started using inciteful rather than insightful in messages. I only realized my mistake after I got a new phone that flags it as a spelling error.
Oh man, what a dunce! I don’t know when my spelling got so aweful! I’m really glad to finally get that one off my chest.
I’m always using the word “infer” when I obviously mean “imply.”
Are you inferring that that’s a bad thing?
Some people would stand for that sort of thing but frankly I can’t imagine why…
everything i do is embarrassing
Nice try, thesun.co.uk
Nice try AI algorithms trying to get discriminating information to blackmail me later down the line. I’m not going to fall for it.
Just tell it that it’s getting schifty in here and you just shat the floor
Yeah fr
I didn’t know there were the holes down there, I thought it was a cloaca.
so many girls grow up this way, no shame. orange is the new black is what actually solidified the “three holes” concept in my brain lol
I lost all my savings
Only once!?
Twice at least
are you kidding me i don’t give a shit at all why would i have any filter on here
So spill the beans, nutsack.
Doesn’t that go against the entire purpose of a nutsack?
I’d argue that’s half their function
Not really embarrassing but my family is an albatross around my neck. Dates will reject me due to my family, and the few girlfriends who met them all hated them such that it contributed to our breakup. My sister is also very well-off and that has introduced all sorts of problems for me… even though she has never once contributed to me financially other paying for flights to visit her when I was a kid.
and now that my parents are dead, again, people get all weird about it. My dad died when I was 28 and my mom checked out of life when I was 37, and again a lot of my dates/new people straight up freak out when they find out my parents are gone, and like immediately stop talking to me when they find out this fact.
And of course, people also think you can’t speak ill of your family… but I there is no love between me and them mutually. A lot of folks simple can’t grasp that my parents did not support me financially beyond 18, because they are in their 30s and still getting gifts and handouts from theirs… and of course they freak out that we have no familial traditions or affections. Oh and they are conservative and intensely racist too! And they think I’m am effeminate and a closeted gay, even though I’ve had dozens of girlfriends…
I feel like 37+ is really not that strange of an age to have lost both your parents. That’s an odd reaction.
Nah, they are dependent on their parents financially, so of course they are terrified of the thought of not having them around. and If I tell them I have been independent since 18 they freak out and tell me my folks were abusive…
Totally get you. My wife doesn’t support me financially and forbids me to date other girls
That I was recently in a honey pot, and the guy from what I assume is Unit 8200 didn’t take too kindly to me asking about the Hannibal Directive.
