Same here. Went with friends mainly so I could get free AC and free food for the day and put a $10 bill into a slot. Won $999.99 and never cared to gamble again lol

My 60 y.o. Dad with dementia … he knows he can go piss in a toilet. But he also knows he can just piss himself and his nurse will take care of it. It’s definitely a situation where an accident turned into a lifestyle choice lmfao

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I got tired of my he front loading washer leaking and fucking up, I went through 3 of them. Got them all serviced and they just never worked great to begin with. Said fuck it and got a speed queen top loader with knobs and one button. Fuckin love it. Bonus points too, I put a magnet on the side of it from my parents old laundry business with our name and old phone number. My dad only had speed queens in the business. Now I know why. Shit just works.

Lessons in chemistry

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The discontinued Philadelphia Cream cheese snack bars in any flavor, but preferably strawberry.

Parasailing - I was too small for the harness part and wasn’t secured correctly. I spent the whole time paralyzed after I realized what was wrong.

My dad can wiggle his ears like fuckin dumbo. He has dementia now in his 60’s and every time I see him I ask him if he can still wiggle his ears. He always does and laughs so hard when I say good job you’ve still got it ❤️😭 love him sm

I saw this from my front porch yesterday. Nothing like it. Godspeed.

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The first time I had these was probably 1998 while I was at my obese cousins house for a sleep over and that’s all the food they allowed me to have because it was so gross that they didn’t even wanna eat it. Then I fell asleep on the floor and they left me there all night. Very weird memory tied directly to this horrible flavor 😂😭

I was in Publix the other day when this really eccentric wizard looking lady approached me and had a story about how she needed a few bucks. She said she had music for sale that she made herself. I said well how do I purchase it? She reached into her bag and said “ I’ve got cds “ I gave her a few bucks and was on my way feeling good. Got into my fucking car and realized oh shit I’m not a teenager anymore in my old car with a cd player like I thought I was for a solid 10 minutes after buying the damn thing. Got home and had to dig out a cd player for my laptop. Music was weird as fuck which I enjoyed. She bought a jug of cough syrup with the money lmfao

Lately it’s been sourdough + pesto + tomato and mozz sandwich toasted up and cut in half, plenty of salt and pep.

Ye olde question is : did he recently take out a life insurance policy on her?

Also a great day to fly. Last year I flew home on a flight with 20 people (including staff) Super Bowl night. I felt like a billionaire lmfao

you mean egg McMuffin and hash browns (he was arrested at like 9 am) but things get blurry it’s been a while, I understand.

7 all the way