Not to civil claims, apparently. 😈

That’s her penis. As you can see, she’s uncircumcised.

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Fly carefully! The nukes come from there! Seen it in movies! Farmer diligently bailing his hay and suddenly a nuke flies out of the ground behind him, the poor bastard!

Microplastics is the obvious one. High fructose corn syrup. Palm oil is used in so many things (even juices and biscuits/cookies). Billionaires. Politicians.

I don’t know if I’m more surprised the nuggets have lead in them, or that the FDA realised it was a bad thing, and actually warned people about them!

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Leave me alone, Jake Paul!

She only calls it Zuul when it’s not trimmed.

Was the US there to help them before?

AOL still exists?

Oh, no! Not Palantir! Oh, please don’t hurt them! They’re just a harmless data processing company run by a devout Christian!

Also Americans: “Move?! You fascist! I’m tired of being harrassed by the fitness movement! I have the Constitutionally-protected right to sit and remain passive, you woke Communist Socialist!”

No surprises there. He knows there’s still children in Lebanon he hasn’t murdered yet.

Yes, but not everyone wants to wipe leaves on their anus in front of others.

We will! And it’ll have blackjack … and hookers!

I’ve heard of that. It’s a little ol’ place where we can get together.

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The Parable of the Drowning Man

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

“Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast”.

“No,” says the preacher. “I have faith in the Lord. He will save me”.

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

“Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee’s gonna break any minute”.

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. “I shall remain. The Lord will see me through”.

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

“Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance”.

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, “Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn’t you deliver me from that flood?”

God shakes his head. “What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

As is tradition.