BougieBirdie

Split it, lick it, dip it

I’m sorry for your loss. Grief is never easy, and it’s especially more difficult when you have the responsibility of managing your loved ones’ estate.

My mom lost her mom a few months ago. She was the executor of her estate too, and she also lamented that she never got the time or space to mourn. My relationship with my grandmother was complicated, for me the hardest part was knowing that I’ll be doing the same for my mom someday, probably sooner than I’d like.

I tried to help her through it, but she wouldn’t really let me. I think she felt that cutting through all the red tape and working through family stuff gave her something to keep her occupied, although it was clear that it wasn’t easy. She’s finally starting to make the time to mourn now, and I know that someday you’ll get a chance to too.

Anyway, I’m not much of a mom, but if you need help, advice, or someone to send you a hug, I’m here for you

Some grocery stores only give a staff discount on certain days of the week. But the five-finger discount works every day

My always-on doomscroll device’s weather app today told me about an aviation accident that killed two people in another country

I just wanted to know if the snow was going to let up, why am I getting international news of death and dismemberment?

I used to suffer from a lot of existential dread. Like, not sleeping because time spent sleeping was bringing me closer to the time I’d no longer exist.

Whether you worry about it or you don’t, some day you will stop existing. Worrying about it frankly doesn’t help. In fact, it detracts from the dubious pleasure of existing. In my experience, not having fun existing makes me no longer want to exist.

A lot of people advocate for distraction, although personally I think that’s just a temporary escapism. I think we need to confront our eventual non-existence, accept it as a fact of life, and then move on by trying to find meaning in what we have left. Way easier said than done.

CBT is a school of therapy about restructuring our thoughts, and it has a lot to say about confronting the fear of the unknown. Cultivating spiritualism and religion is a traditional way of approaching the problem, although I’d encourage people to seek out and learn what other cultures are saying instead of blindly accepting what their parents’ church says.

Personally, I had a religious experience while accidentally tripping balls on psychedelics. I’m not sure I’d specifically recommend that, it could just as easily backfire, but it helped me and you can find lots of testimonials with a similar story. Maybe it’s better to start with therapy and religion

It was recommended by my psychiatrist, and I’m glad I read it, but I hated Feeling Good.

It’s got good advice, and the the techniques are sound, or supposedly clinically backed or whatever. But Burns’ style of presenting a patient and then solving all their problems with one quirky treatment really rubbed me the wrong way.

Legally, I’m sure each patient in his book is probably a composite of patients with similar problems. And I’m sure that it’s probably more narratively pleasing to show each trial as a success. But I don’t know, it just felt so dismissive of the actual struggles of my life and I worry that it gives unrealistic expectations to people who need help.

I felt like I had to try a dozen techniques before I found one that seemed to help. And when I did, it wasn’t the overnight cure to my anxiety that he presented, it’s been a slow, gradual thing. It was hopeful to find something that helped, but overall I think the book was discouraging because it made me feel like there must be something wrong with me that I’m not having the immediate success that Burns seemed so confident of.

So I don’t know. Overall I think it’s a useful book, I just wish it was presented differently. I also worry that if it was required reading, you’d get this influx of well-meaning but dismissive people who think that any problem can be solved by whatever the thing their teacher vibed most with. For a lot of people, until they go through their own struggle with mental health it’s like it doesn’t exist for them. Perhaps doubly true for teenagers with an undeveloped sense of empathy.

Aside, I liked Dr Faith Harper’s Unfuck Your Life series. It’s got the same bones as Feeling Good, but it’s more modern, her style is more grounded, and I think it’s important that she sets expectations by telling the reader that not everything in psychiatry is a magic bullet solution.

I also think the Unfuck series is neat because each book is smaller but tailored to a specific focus. Unfuck your Anxiety has different exercises than Unfuck your Depression. I think that makes it more accessible for people who are going through it, although perhaps it does lessen the depth that a required reading list would need from a single book. Not that they’d ever teach Unfuck your Life in school because swear words are bad even though teenagers literally wouldn’t care.

Anyway, long story long, I think they absolutely should teach this stuff in school but gosh I hate that specific book

I respect that it’s a populat format, but as soon as a game has both PvE and PvP the game is just PvP in my opinion.

I don’t like most PvP games, so seeing both tags scares me off of most titles.

Sometimes you’ll see a game like that where you can disable PvP, or host a private lobby, or some other compromise. Most of the time doing so reveals just how shallow the PvE content really is

When you wrestle with a pig, you both get muddy and the pig likes it

I would generally lean towards nay, but I know there’s reasonable exceptions.

The biggest issue comes with the dynamics of the workplace. The most obvious one is that the workplace is usually hierarchical, and if you’re ever on different levels of the org chart that opens the door to problems.

Hitting on your subordinate puts them in a situation where they might not feel they can refuse because it could impact their job. Hitting on your supervisor could put them in a situation where they start worrying about a sexual harassment suit, or that it might bring on scrutiny where your coworkers start thinking you’ll get preferential treatment.

Even if you both hold the same title, it can become problematic. What happens when one of you get promoted? What happens when HR is aware of the relationship and will skip over you for promotion because of the risk? What happens when your employer unjustly terminates your partner and they pressure you to also leave your job because your employer is a bastard?

Those questions are assuming you enter a relationship. But what happens when you keep flirting with a coworker who does not reciprocate your feelings, but feels they have to keep the peace because of they reject you they still have to see you forty hours each week?

Depending on your job, if you do start up a relationship you might get sick of seeing each other all the time. Or you might have opposite shifts and then never see each other even outside of work. What happens when the relationship implodes and you still have to work with your ex?

Pretty much the only situation where I think it’d be worth the risk is if it’s a very casual job that you wouldn’t mind leaving if things got ugly. That could maybe apply to a casual relationship instead, but people often have very different ideas about what that means and it’s not uncommon to for people to get unhealthy in their relationships no matter how “casual” they say they wanted to be.

If your boss had to tell you to stop, then it’s clearly a problem. Heed that warning

Well, it is and it isn’t
Understanding the date labels on your food

If the product has a shelf life of less than 90 days, it must have either a best before or packed on date with specific rules about how it’s formatted. If it has a shelf life greater than 90 days, the best before date is optional. Also a best before date has no guarantee that the product isn’t spoiled, but also may be perfectly safe to consume well beyond the best before date.

To further muddy the waters, there are actual expiration dates which must be included on very specific products. Mostly medical diets, meal replacements, and infant formula. This means that best before dates are not expiration dates, although most people use the term interchangeably. Indeed, even this article does because alcohol would have a best before date and the article is quoted as saying it’s expiring.

Anyway, apart from actual “expiration dates” which are serious business, best before dates do seem to be largely based on vibes and woo-woo

Edit: And you know what else, this all Canadian regulations. I have no idea how that impacts an imported product. I’m assuming an import has to follow our regulations in order to be sold, but hey, anything goes in business

Sometimes the best-by date refers to the packaging instead of the product. Plastic bottles in particular degrade with time and give you a whole bunch of microplastics.

Most booze shouldn’t go bad if properly stored, but exceptions might occur for lighter beverages like beer and coolers.

Aside, I think the best-by date is largely a scam and if it benefits anyone it’s either the manufacturer or grocer. I wonder how much perfectly edible food my family’s thrown away because someone saw a date that made them feel funny

I really enjoy the explosion at the end.

Through the rest of the movie the effects are timeless and suck you into the movie. Then you get that finale and remember this movie came out in the 70s

In this case, you could upload it to YouTube where it will be taken down and seen by a whole no people