What I mean is, how do you deal with the logical conclusion that no one can ever truly be relied on and that you can always find yourself alone with no support?

Or do you disagree with this conclusion and think that some people can be relied on and that you can know that you won’t end up alone?

And if you are alone, how do you deal with the inherent human yearn for others when you know that you can never truly rely on them?

Edit: To clarify, I am talking about personal relationships and not about professional or paid help.

  • Libb@piefed.socialEnglish
    4·
    5 days ago

    how do you deal with the inherent human yearn for others when you know that you can never truly rely on them?

    Two remarks:

    1. How can you be that sure you can never rely on people? ‘Never’ seems quite a long time and ‘people’ is more than 8 billions of us: that 's quite a lot to be that that affirmative. We regularly leanr about people giving their live to save another person’s life (say helping a kid that is drowning, or rescuing someone in a fire or a car crash, and so on). Isn’t that quite a convincing demonstration of some people out there one can rely upon?
    2. Rephrasing your question as an affirmation may help see why I think it’s based on a flawed premises: I wish for a perfect friendship, or a perfect relationship, or even just a perfect date. Or I will not rather try.

    I’m trolling, here but only half because the moment one stops expecting more than what others are willing to give them, there is no risk of ever feeling disappointed. Perfection, or even just expectation of it, is one of our worst enemy:

    ‘I will only write that story when I’m ready and sure I write it perfectly!’ say countless wannabe writers that will never write their story.

    ‘I will only marry the perfect dude/gal’ say so many people that will remain single for their entire life, missing out on potentially amazing lifelong partners while they’re waiting to meet the perfect one that probably doesn’t not even exist outside of some fantasy land.

    My spouse and I have been together for 25+ years and counting. One of the reasons our couple remains that strong (if not stronger than ever) is that we’re both keenly aware of our own and the other’s ‘flaws’ or imperfections, theirs and our own limits. And we’re fine with them. We’re also fine being different and often not agreeing on stuff. She has friends and activities that I don’t like at all, like I have friends and activities she don’t like either. We do things on our own and meet those people on our own, and that’s it. But we also know we have each other’s back when it really matters like we know we’re happier together, despite our flaws ;)

    Exactly like with love, friendship is an exchange. Heck, even a one night affair is supposed to be an exchange. One just don’t exchange the same kind of things but both people do bring something to the other and it doesn’t need to be that special to be valuable and appreciated for what it is: a gift.

    Personally, I learned to value what people are willing to share with me more than what I would want them to share with me.

    Expecting perfection is also very risky: if one feels they should receive only the best out of any people they interact with, why should they not be expected themselves to always give their best and to be perfect friend/lover/date/whatever? I don’t know about you, but I am far from being perfect be it as a friend, a lover, a date, or as a whatever ;)