I’ll go first. My ex cheated on me with a dude, (I’m les, she’s bi,) brought home chlamydia and bed bugs, then after 13 years of no contact, texts me randomly to try and pull me into an MLM pyramid scheme.
Well, if I’m being completely honest here, I’m the fucked up ex.
Right, but what did you do?
Joined lemmy. The sad bastard.
God damn. What a loser.
My wife’s ex… She wanted a dog, he didn’t. They compromised and got a dog. She broke it off shortly afterwards, because she realized he was a full blown mask-off white supremacist. She got the dog in the split, because she was the one who wanted him in the first place.
We got married like a decade later, and the dog died shortly afterwards. She had him blocked on everything, but sent a “hey just wanted to let you know the dog died” message through a mutual friend who still talked to him. He tried to use “grief processing” as an excuse to meet up for lunch. He was still a blatant white supremacist, but hadn’t seen any of our wedding photos because she had him blocked on everything. I’m not white. I offered to tag along to their meeting, just to see his the look on his face when I walked through the door and introduced myself as her husband.
Why even send the text at that point though?
Yeah that dog you didn’t want, and hadn’t seen in 10 years. It’s dead. Want to get coffee?
The only assumption is you wanna reconnect.
Divorced over a decade, no contact since. My ex and I were in a stupid cult when we married, and apparently he still is. They don’t allow remarriage unless one partner has “committed adultery.” He wrote saying he sees online that I’m living with another dude, but can I confirm whether or not I’ve had sex?
I ignored it.
You should write him back and say you’ve been fucking the cult leaders for years just to see what happens.
“No I haven’t had sex yet but I’ll let you know the moment that I do” followed by blocking them
I don’t blame you for ignoring it, but I read that as a request for confirmation whether they could remarry or not. I think I may have replied with the briefest confirmation possible and then refused any other contact.
He can remarry. We’re divorced. Its between him and the cult of they want to punish him for it. I refuse to give them any power.
“Sorry, but after our relationship I became celibate and it’s been great. Good luck! Please don’t contact me again.”
This is funnier and takes even less effort though.
Not sure how awful you would want to be in that situation, but with a lot more effort it could be even funnier without any words but a lewd picture instead, if your partner is up for it.
Lazy ass hobosexeual played the part of a caring partner for 2 years. He was in someone else’s bed whenever I wasn’t home at night, I worked the night shift so that was pretty much every night. I was constantly exhausted after working 12-14 hour shifts all the time, so I asked him to get a job or do anything to bring money in. He didn’t want to so he found some lady who made more than me to take his lazy ass in. I (sadly) begged him to stay and kept in touch.
One day, he came over to help me fix my brakes and tried to kiss me. I turned my check because fuck that noise. He had the BIGGEST crocodile tears I’ve ever seen in someone over the age of 5. Told me that he still loved me, just wanted to feel like I wanted him there (me begging wasn’t enough I guess), said he didn’t love her, she had “gross fake tits”, said he only cared about her money and her boat he was living on, said he had to sleep in his car when HE left because he had nowhere to go, blah blah blah. I told him to leave and then I found her on Facebook. I told her everything he had just told me. That dumbass still went on to marry his lazy ass and he still doesn’t work.
That’s ok though, my current partner of 10+ years is a massive improvement. He’s not an alcoholic and he has a job, so I won that one 😁
Also. Fuck you Levi.
Hobosexual?! Sounds classist if you ask me.
Sorry, no, that’s not what it means. It’s a word that refers to someone who mooches off of their partner because they don’t want to work. That guy was just an ass.
Is this a joke, or are you just insufferable?
Insufferable on Lemmy?
Caught her cheating, and when I broke up with her she refused and stabbed me with a fork. I have 4 little scars but one of the fork tines was slightly bent so they don’t line up perfectly
Guy I met had a scar like that on the back of his hand. Story was he had four brothers, all big guys. Mom would put the food on the table, but no one was allowed to take anything until they said grace. One night it was steaks, and they weren’t all the same size. When grace was done, they all went for a big steak with their forks. He was in first, but his brother ended up stabbing the back of his hand with his.
The fucked up and kind of funny part was that his brother’s reaction was to bring the guy’s hand over to his own plate by pulling it with his fork, and wiggling it until the steak fell off the fork onto the plate.
Mom needs to train them to come up and take their steak only when their name is called. Poorly trained boys gonna hurt someone smh
So your skin is perpetually mildlyinfuriating? What a terrible place for a curse.
I hope you filed a police report for assault and pressed charges. Looks like you dodged a bullet.
Dodged the bullet, didn’t see the fork hah. I was young so I just ignored it, although looking back maybe it would have been for the best to report it. Maybe she would have gotten the help she needed.
It would’ve been a fork in the road kind of moment for her
I’m dad enough to suspect that my reaction to the stabbing would be “what the fork??”
And I’m 'tismo enough to seek corrective surgery to make sure the marks from the fork tines were in line.
The idea had crossed my mind once or twice, or extending the other three scars to match at the very least. But thankfully time has passed and they have faded now and it’s hard to notice
If 'tismo is to mean autistic, that’s fucking beautiful and I’m stealing it.
