So they’re saying the cooter was vibrated.

Ritz

I’m a pretty tough cookie myself, but yeah, this is one of my activation codes.

The only person smiling in there is going to be Art the Clown.

You don’t discretely pull it to one side first 😥 ?

“Oh my… to shreds, you say…”

“Sexy” vs “Unsexy” measuring.

this feels like thinly disguised foot fetishist posting.

😉

Stay hydrated!

😉

The rich get richer, smh

I may have failed most of my math classes. But if you think about it, perhaps the classes failed me?

Inches makes it seem more impressive than it is–that’s like only around 30 miles or so.

“Blessed are… me. Just me.”

There’s been a mix up: my coffee is pretty, and I feel delicious.

YAY! 🌈

Not trying to be greedy, but you wouldn’t happen to have any spare lube to go with them, would you?

And then everyone there got measles.

In other words